R.I.P. Riptorns?!

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    • #2499
      Andy Klein

      Andy Klein wrote:

      I just noticed that the Riptorns’ offensive point total has sunk to single digits.

      Ouch!! Is it time to declare the Riptorns dead?

      Then I started reminiscing. Back when the ‘Torns were riding high, the league would routinely receive updates from Brad and Mike, including fun little song lyrics and movie analogies. But what do we get now? Nothing but surly e-mails refusing trade offers for Derek Lowe.

      Well, since I’m riding high, I decided to pen an ode to the Riptorns. Enjoy. And feel free to add your own verses …


      (Sung to the tune of Bye, Bye Miss American Pie)

      A long long time ago
      I can still remember when
      The Riptorns used to lead the league

      But Draft Day made the Riptorns shiver
      Isringhausen got delivered

      Bad news on the doorstep
      They couldn’t take one more step

      I can’t remember if Brad cried
      When he realized his hands were tied

      But something touched me deep inside
      The day … the Riptorns died!

      So bye, bye
      To the Riptorns goodbye
      Shopped their closers for a bevy
      But the market was dry

      The rest of the league
      They refused to comply
      Singing this will be the day the ‘Torns died!!

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