R.I.P. Riptorns?!

[Andy Klein]

Andy Klein wrote:

I just noticed that the Riptorns’ offensive point total has sunk to single digits.

Ouch!! Is it time to declare the Riptorns dead?

Then I started reminiscing. Back when the ‘Torns were riding high, the league would routinely receive updates from Brad and Mike, including fun little song lyrics and movie analogies. But what do we get now? Nothing but surly e-mails refusing trade offers for Derek Lowe.

Well, since I’m riding high, I decided to pen an ode to the Riptorns. Enjoy. And feel free to add your own verses …

BYE, BYE, TO THE RIPTORNS GOODBYE

(Sung to the tune of Bye, Bye Miss American Pie)

A long long time ago
I can still remember when
The Riptorns used to lead the league

But Draft Day made the Riptorns shiver
Isringhausen got delivered

Bad news on the doorstep
They couldn’t take one more step

I can’t remember if Brad cried
When he realized his hands were tied

But something touched me deep inside
The day … the Riptorns died!

So bye, bye
To the Riptorns goodbye
Shopped their closers for a bevy
But the market was dry

The rest of the league
They refused to comply
Singing this will be the day the ‘Torns died!!

[Author]

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