I wake up every morning
To my Rotoworld warning
I see that my team is still shitty
There's the Red Hots up above
Jeffrey shows me no more love
Is there a player anyone could just give me
My roster's just a crime
I can't even beat Klein Nine
Don't even know which guys I should play
But there's that nice young Jewish boy
And even though I'm just a goy
For him I'd trade my whole team away
Will you trade me Jason Kipnis — right now- today?
Trade me Jason Kipnis–I will pay!
Trade me Jason Kipnis-he's all mine!
Trade me Jason Kipnis–and don't tell Andy Klein!
I'd be hopin' and wishin'
Just to hear that Winick bitchin'
If I could make a deal for that fellow
He's as good as Alomar
Though he doesn't spit as far
The thought just makes my knees turn to jello
The guys would see me havin' fun
Even with that Adam Dunn
Tell them that I just made a trade
It's only Klein I must avoid
But Jeff would be so damn annoyed
Cos I'd just trade my whole team away