While Klein Nine Slumber, Rips Take a Nice Napoli

USML Forums Forums Brad Being Brad While Klein Nine Slumber, Rips Take a Nice Napoli

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      Brad Jansen

      “It all started off so innocently,” recalled the ever-reticent  Riptorns CEO Brad Jansen on Jeffrey Winick’s late night cable show Roto Rooter. “Klein was badgering me for Corey Patterson and offered up the infirm Casey Kotchman.  I was more than happy to accomodate Andy because he was really upset and hurt about my deals with the Red Hots and Nukes.  I told Andy I needed a boost to my salary floor to make the deal happen.  When he scoffed at Zumaya for Hansen, we came up with Shoppach for Napoli.  I wasn’t too pleased because it only added $3 to my floor but I must tell you I’m quite happy now.”

      Winick agreed that this could very well be the sleeper deal of the decade. “Napoli has cut down on the strikeouts and shortened his swing.  And look at the power numbers: ten taters before the A-S Break, second only to Ramon Hernandez among AL catchers.  This man is a power hitting catcher, even rarer these days than a reliable closer.  I never doubted that Andy Klein wore blinders when it came to appreciating the talents and abilities of other teams’ players…I didn’t want to think until now that he knew as little about his own players…and now where does this find him?  Trading mediocrity like Johnny Gomes for the likes of Johnny Damon. A pitiful way to fight for fourth place, and I can only pray that the reading public never catches a glimpse of him with my baseball fantasy magazine–it would devastate my sales….”

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