Jeff Winick was breathless after watching yesterday’s White Sox-Royals game and it wasn’t because of the sheer number of naturalized citizens either on the field or in attendance.
“I have seen the future of Royals baseball,” cried Jeffery, “And it’s name is Huber–Justin Huber. It’s of no small coincidence that he wears the number 7, yes the same number borne by the late great Mickey Mantle. Let me say this: 5 years from today, if not sooner, the number 7 will be associated with Huber and Huber alone. Forget The Mick. Millions of Missourians across this great land know of what I speak. I saw this kid belt a shot off Buerhle that died on the right field warning track, a shot that on any other day would have landed in the last row of the bleachers, but for the mighty wind a-blowin’ in from the Lake.
“And make no mistake: the Winds of Change are a-blowin’ and they cannot be stopped by Republicans or Democrats or by Angry Young Men…the lowly Royals shall rise again and a Huber shall lead them to domination or, alternatively, they shall be lead by an Alex Gordon or a Billy Butler, Riptorns all!! Like the Royals the Riptorns shall rise from the ashes of their burned out dreams and hopes. Now go and be prepared. I must get back to my soaps.”